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So last week I did a video on shyness which seems to have hit a bit of a nerve. (
There were many comments – the majority overwhelmingly good – but also a little bit of controversy which has led me to want to do Part II.
A lot of people were talking about how ‘shy’ and ‘introverted’ are not the same thing.
Here’s the difference as I see it:
–Introversion is associated with being part of someone’s nature.
–Shyness is more derived from insecurity. I feel like it’s a polite word for being scared.
If we want to overcome shyness, we have to overcome rejection.
There are two ways to do this:
1) To get accepted and reinforce a different behaviour.
To see that you can talk to someone and get a positive result.
2) To get more rejection.
More rejection doesn’t have to make you more insecure. If you talk to people who have to go through a lot of rejection every day – whether it’s cold callers, actors going to auditions, you name it, they’ll tell you that they can become desensitised to that rejection.
We have to decide who we want to be – regardless of acceptance or rejection.
If you go into a situation craving acceptance, it feels needy and desperate. Don’t worry about it to begin with. Go for rejection. Get rejected as much as possible, because here’s what gets you accepted as much as possible…
Being congruent with who you really are.