Guys get confused about the takeaways on this video. The main takeaways are: 1. have an ethnically diverse group of friends as it increases your likelihood of dating someone of a different ethnicity and also remember that 2. proximity is paramount. You date who you see regularly and speak to regularly. 3. The rest is the basics: be confident but not arrogant and be bold. And last, and just as importantly, 4. increase your emotional intelligence. It is an area where most men lack and it increases your desirability and ability to function in a relationship.
By request – starts funny and gets deep. Resources for Emotional Intelligence are the book called Emotional Intelligence and for folks who struggle with sensitivity, anger or passivity, dialectical behavioral therapy is really good.
This book- Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman is good, but dense. I’d describe emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize, control and share emotions. Also to have a good understanding of what your emotions are. Men get angry a lot, when they were ashamed, sad, guilty first. They skip the emotion. A lot of men do not manage their emotions, they bypass them. They express them as rage. That doesn’t work in a relationship. AT ALL. If you can understand what emotion you just felt, control your response and relay how something made you feel in a controlled manner, you have more ability than 80% of the people out there. Seriously, we are a society of depressed, anxious, angry assholes. Check out dialectical behavioral training too. Good stuff. It changes people’s lives. No more being passive aggressive, no more exploding. Too much too cover here.
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