Hi! My name is Marianne. My story is mostly about an issue I have had for years. I’m overweight. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. Up until a certain point, there was nothing odd about it, until the day that made this story worth telling. A day that I will never forget.
Several months ago I realized that I had trouble meeting new people and expressing myself,so I decided to take an improv class. I joined a junior group with guys around my age, most of them were high school students. I mean… it was never easy for me and I’ve been making these small steps out of my comfort zone… but wait, that’s not what the story is about.
Out of all the guys I met at improv, there was one named Josh. He was the kind of guy everyone notices first. He’s… hot. Dimpled cheeks, big green eyes, the most beautiful smile ever and, what’s most important to this story is… he’s fit. He’s a swimmer, he has been doing it since he was a kid, so yeah, he’s very fit, muscular, and broad-shouldered.
Needless to say, the girls at the improv just adored him. Some of them would be OBVIOUSLY hitting on him, but all this time he’s only being friendly and nothing more. He basically kept his distance, you know.
So of course I was surprised when I noticed that he paid way more attention to me than he did to the rest of the girls in the group. But that could mean anything, right? My self-doubt, at this point, would convince me that it totally meant nothing. Like… maybe he needed a friend. Or just someone to talk to. I liked him, of course, but I guess I just didn’t let myself get caught up in it.
So you can probably imagine just how shocked I was, when one night, after the improv class had finished, Josh came up to me and asked me out.
I was completely lost for several minutes, and then, because I was still confused, I mumbled something about me being really busy and… I just left! Thinking about that moment now, I can see that I must have sounded very rude, not meaning to at all. I was just too scared.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him asking me out that whole night. I was pleased, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I had been deprived of talking to guys, Its just… I have not been on dates specifically, but I have got guy friends. But Josh is a totally different thing! After not being able to fall asleep for hours that night, I convinced myself that it must have been some kind of cruel prank.
And sadly, I did not have anyone to talk to about this. None of my friends were close enough, I have a younger brother and an older sister, but… well, that’s another story. We are not that close. Our relationship is based on making fun of each other, and… I have always been worse at this than they are. The jokes are mostly about my weight, and, you know, I have been fine with that… I guess. Well, at some point a couple of years ago I started to make jokes about myself and my weight, acting like I was comfortable with it. So, as you can see, asking them what I should do about Josh was never an option.
So, again, I considered this whole thing a twisted joke, because… I thought this was the most legit option. Of course my reaction was to try to stay away from Josh. I mean – literally. I tried everything. Like to pick a group he wasn’t in when we were doing our exercises at the improv class. Every time he looked like he wanted to talk to me, I… would vanish. He wasn’t intrusive or anything. He actually seemed puzzled and sad, since I never said ‘no’ but I never said ‘yes’ either. Sure he noticed that I liked him, so the whole situation looked like a mess from his perspective.
Two or three weeks passed like this. Then the whole thing got really awkward. The further it all went, the worse I started to feel. I mean, if it was all a prank, Josh would surely be acting differently! He wasn’t even taking any action toward his evil plan that I was sure he was plotting, but I had no idea what exactly the plan could be.
So I started to take things into my own hands. We talked a couple of times, then we started texting each other. Of course I was very cautious in the beginning, but when you are talking to Josh, it’s pretty hard to keep your distance. After a week or so Josh asked me out again… and this time I said yes.
For the next month I was probably happier than I had ever been before. As I said, I have never dated a guy before, and Josh really felt like a blessing. I mean, it felt like a dream. I knew that he was good-looking and a great person, but when we started dating, I learned that he was also very kind and loving and…
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